Fiction Teaser Tuesday #7 – Dark Tower

This past week my oldest daughter and I had a great discussion about first person, second person, and third person points of view when writing. She’s been learning this in her 6th grade English course online.

Most often when we read it’s first person with “I” as the main character. I’m a third person kind of writer as my main characters go by their name like “Dag” or “Sarah” when it comes to my fiction stories.

You rarely see second person points of view in story telling anymore. Second person is used most often¬† used in non-fiction. It’s when I’m talking to you, yep “YOU.”

When I was a kid I loved those which way books. Do you know the ones I’m talking about?¬† Most of them were written in second person, ‘You’ were always on the adventure. I even tried to write a few of my own, and I found a piece of one I wrote way back when as I was cleaning up some papers in the attic.

So today’s fiction teaser is an excerpt from some of my first attempts to write (unedited of course) a which way adventure in second person.

Photo Credit: Neil Roger

DARK TOWER

It’s completely dark; there is no way to see and nothing to hear. Reach out and touch something. Can you? Is there anything there? I think not. Turn around and take a step. Where are you?

Where do you want to be?

Your in an old castle tower. Feel the cold stone beneath your bare tender feet. You shiver from the chill; a gentle breeze causes a draft inside your dark prison. What? How do you get there?

You tell me.

Reaching out with both hands you find the wall. One step…two steps… three steps…four… OUCH! Something sharp stabs into your hip. Instinctively, you reach down to your wounded hip and place your hand over it. Warm fluid flows into your hand. Carefully, you try to find what you hit, but nothing is there. What was it?

Where did it go?

Take a deep breath and stand very still. No! Don’t move! Listen. Hear anything? Try harder. Now can you? Told you so.

It’s the sound of labored breathing and wait… something just scrapped the stone floor. You stand very still. The tower starts to sway back and forth. You fall, as if you’re on a boat in the middle of a storm.

Outside, you strain to hear the rumbling of angered thunder and see the flashes of lightning. You see the quick flashes of bright white light. You glanced around hoping to find it again. There it is!

The hard patter of rain roars in your ears. Loud rumblings of thunder warn before the quick strike of white lightning that flashes in your dark space to illuminate stone walls.

AAAHH!! You’ve been stabbed in the back of your right leg. You fall to your knees. Pain shoots up your leg and your hip throbs.

There is something there. Is it man? Is it beast? Is it anything at all? Fear blinds your eyes. You see nothing in the darkness.

Your heart is racing.

Slowly, you look around. Is there anything there?

Quick, step to your right!

You feel wind as if something just flew past.

What will you do?

 

If you stay where you are and wait for help, type”Stay” in the comments below

If you try to find a way to escape, type “Escape.”

(So what do you think of second person?)

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Fiction Teaser Tuesday #7 – Dark Tower

  1. Good morning Susan,
    I think second person can work for some types of stories, but I personally don’t care for it. I enjoyed this little story. Thanks for sharing!

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